28 June 2002, 2:57 peeyem
More agita with Pottery Barn. I love that table, I really do. But I hate poor customer service.
I am wearing my contacts again, and this pleases me enormously. I have ceased walking into things, and I think we can all be happier now. And the fabulous Christine cut my hair this morning. I feel like a nude woman.
(4:37 addendum...got a little sidetracked with the face measurement chart, and now it's nearly time to go home).
27 June 2002, 2:52 peeyem
Due to technical difficulties and a general lack of gumption, I have elected to screw around with my page instead of the one I'm paid to do. For a little while.
Here's something you can do: go see mish. You'll like her. She's my hero.
This is mostly for my sister (who could find her picture on the dubyadubyadubya if she'd send me one):
Back to the salt mines. One of these days, it's going to come down to me and that damn scanner. I'm not sure I'll win.
27 June 2002, 2:29 peeyem
Technical Difficulties...
Isn't that always the way? I need 4 little covers of each of our newsletters for their respective web pages. I have no idea how to do this, but I have it in my mind that it can be done, so why not? I suppose I could scan them in, but I don't really have a good grasp of scanning things and making them come out any kind of right. I could probably look this up, but I am notoriously bad about reading the first three lines and then chucking the directions (perhaps to raise myself to fever-pitch level of frustration).
I skipped tennis practice last night because I can't see and it's just too frustrating. But it's weird to me to when I don't go. I miss my team. I miss my coach. I miss playing. I just miss it all. Even when it's hot and humid out, I'd still rather be playing tennis with my friends than sitting on my butt at home.
But if I don't sit on my butt, what will I sit on?
Today, by the way, marks 15 years that I have been in Atlanta. Yay me for getting along.
26 June 2002, 11:45 ayem
To my extreme delight, I do, in fact, have pink eye. Aside from the discomfort of it all, I am unable to wear my contacts. I like my glasses pretty well (although I have been called Velma and been requested to take them off from time to time), but I feel like I'm standing in a hole when I wear them. I also can't wear mascara and I feel like my second grade picture. See me here:
(and keep your wisecracks to yourself, porfaplease)
I am so vain that I refused to come to work yesterday, all in the interest of not having anyone see me with my eyes all rheumy.
While at home, I got a terrifically wild hair and started painting the bathroom. What I intended was red diamonds on the wall. What I ended up doing was wide red and yellow and blue vertical stripes, which I plan to combine with horizontal stripes to make a plaid. Then I'm going to drybrush white over all that to tone it down a bit, and then, theoretically, it will look like faded pyjamas or something...naturally, this won't likely work out and I'll have to start all over. In my next life, I want to be one of those people who can just paint the whole damn house white and be tickled neon green with it.
24 June 2002, 1:50 peeyem
I set up the new desk area yesterday. I wasn't going to hang the keyboard tray underneath, but I had to, because it was so high I couldn't really see the keys when I was seated. It's nice. I like it.
Young Will Bryant went to a movie with me yesterday. He talks a lot. He talks more than I do, I think. He has really good grammar and he's very clever. After the movie was over, he very earnestly said, "I could go for some popcorn." I pointed out that popcorn is traditionally consumed during the movie, and he just looked at me as if to say, "And? What does this mean to me?" Naturally I buckled and took him for icecream.
One of my fears in life is that I'm going to become Crazy Old Lady Scarbrough Who Always Brings A Funny Pocket-sized Surprise And Smells Like Jergens Lotion. Although, I suppose there are worse things I could become.
To add excitement to the mix, I think I might have pink eye. Yoinks. It feels shameful, like impetigo or something. Anyone who knows me pretty well knows that if you ask me what I'm really afraid of, there are two things: Pink Eye and Spiders.
21 June 2002, 10:38 ayem
Do you think the sanitation workers fight over who gets to drive the truck? On the one hand, I do dearly love to drive a big truck, but on the other hand I have more fingers. No. That's not what I meant to say. I meant to say, on the other hand I like to ride on the back of a truck. But I wouldn't want to have to deal with the garbage. I would just like to ride princess-style on the back, waving to my public and tossing out the occasional handful of bubblegum to the children with dandelion bouquets. Maybe I should just keep my job and leave the sanitation department alone.
Last night was Shakespeare Tavern. I have been a member there for a few years, and it's always a good time. Last night there seemed to be a lot of upping and downing by the other audience members, however, and I found that a bit annoying. The show right now is Comedy of Errors, and it's hysterically funny. Before you go thinking you don't like Shakespeare, or you don't get Shakespeare, hie yourself over to Peachtree and take in a show there.
20 June 2002, 3:18 peeyem
I have the table, after much agita from the fine people over at Pottery Barn. I lurve it.
My friends Betsy and Todd are moving to Nashville next Tuesday. This pleases me for them, but I'll miss them. I don't see them so often, but it was nice knowing they were right there.
I need to do something about my cellular service. One of my talents is being able to pick out the most expensive item in any store, because that's the one I want. Naturally, the same is true here. However, I just can't see spending $200 on a phone that's going to float around in the bottom of my pocketbook or tennis bag and that I'm never going to remember to turn on.
Today was apparently fruitgroup day on the streets. I thought it was just Ponce, but have just seen that it's also Peachtree. This morning on the way in, there was a van with about a jillion flags on top that apparently hauls around some man who's walking 6250 miles for children. I don't know which children, but that's a pretty hefty little hike to be looping through the sunny South. Someone should have told him it's both the heat and the humidity.
The next thing I saw on Ponce was a gentleman in some sort of pants tucked into his socks, a t-shirt, and a camoflage jacket. He was pushing what appeared to be one of those sling things they have in chain restaurants now that you're supposed to sit the car seat in while you're dining. It had things in it, but I couldn't identify them. He also had a wide leather band tied around his hair, like Tonto or something. Periodically he would leave his cartification and go peer at something in the grass between the sidewalk and the street.
And just now on Peachtree I saw an otherwise normal looking gentleman toting a very nice rolling suitcase. By toting, I mean he had it up in his arms like it was a baby.
18 June 2002, 4:37 peeyem
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and this time I'm pretty sure it's not a train about to mow me over.
I am nearing completion of my company's website. Having said this out loud, I can be assured that it will all go to hell posthaste.
Wonder if I'm going to measure out the diamonds for the bathroom wall tonight? I don't much think so, either.
17 June 2002, 4:10 peeyem
Today I called Pottery Barn to buy a table. Jerry dutifully took down my information. Then he called me to say that the transaction was declined. All I needed to do was dial the automated thing and move some money over, but still, it's the annoyance, and I want my money when it's due to me.
Upon further investigation, I found that the payroll service had not deposited our checks on Friday, as they were supposed to, as they have been doing on the 15th and last of every month (or the Friday before if it falls on a weekend) for a number of years now. They forgot. Forgot? Why isn't it automated in the year 2002 AD?
Fortunately, I work for one of the very best people in the world and she handled it quick-fashion and all is right with my world again.
Naturally, the table won't fit in my car, so Brenda and Carol are going to go get it for me.
This weekend we had our book signing for our first creative work. It was, I think, a success. The conversation was lively and everybody seemed to be having a good time. The big surprise of the evening was that Dr. Franklin came, which tickled me endlessly.
14 June 2002, 3:40 peeyem
You're
a Grand Old Flag
by George M. Cohan
You're
a grand old flag,
You're a high flying flag
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.
Ev'ry heart beats true
'neath the Red, White and Blue,
Where there's never a boast or brag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old flag.
Happy Flag Day!
That said, I'm terribly annoyed with myself. I'm having trouble wrapping some text around some graphics and it's starting to get to me. I had to leave the office earlier because I was dangerously close to pushing the computer off the desk, and nobody wants that.
Also, it's raining like a tall cow peeing on a flat rock, which pleases me endlessly. As long as I closed the sunroof. I suppose if I didn't, I'll have a carpool Buh-dum-bum-shhh.
Gotta love a girl who provides her own rimshots.
But speaking of raining and being pleased by it, a really great book is Journey Through The Shadows, which is a biography of Billy Carter, by his son, Buddy. It's in my list of top ten reads.
I picked up the first of the Lemony Snicket books today. I know they're kids' books, but I know a lot of kids who need to be reading, and if I like them, I'm going to get them for them. Naturally, this will not cause the children in question to read, but it will make me feel that I've done my part, or at least part of my part.
13 June 2002, 12:26 peeyem
I have a lunch place I go. It's fabulous. Everything is fresh, and the owner and people who work there are really funny and really nice. Today's lunch, for instance, was smoked turkey, artichoke pesto, roasted tomatoes, and greens on baguette, and a lovely red and yellow and dark purple fruit salad.
I swear they put heroin or something in the food, because I crave it.
I would tell you the name of it, but I don't want you mucking up the line. But I will take you there some time.
13 June 2002, 9:51 ayem
On the way to the office this morning, I saw a woman driving some large urban assault vehicle thing that she seemed to have some difficulty keeping in her lane, what with the talking on the phone and all. This I expect, the foot on the dashboard, howsomever, mystifies me. What grown-up drives that way? Is that, in fact, a more efficient or comfortable way to drive? Is it safer? Does she worry that if she has a wreck her femur will shoot right through her ass?
12 June 2002, 1:12 peeyem
The ladies at the JP Stevens store at Cains Hill Place don't do diddly. I know this from months of observation. When it's cold, they stay inside and gossip and read trashy novels. When it's warm out, they sit outside the door in lawn chairs and gossip and read trashy novels. Not that I'm opposed to the trashy novel, you understand. I went in there once, and you would have thought I'd asked them to repaint the Sistine Chapel for me, only on nice paper.
I am a big fan of goofing off.
In homeowner news, I finally finished repainting the purple room. Except for the touchups that now have to be done to the ceiling. The lesson that I learned is that the edgemaster is great for around doors and windows and what have you, but for cutting in around the ceiling, you're better off just to use the 2-inch slant brush and do it slowly. But I dig that little tiny roller with my little shovel...in fact, I didn't even use the big rollers to paint the purple room, only the little ones, which might explain why it has taken me since Saturday to be done with it.
Tonight being Wednesday, it is, of course, tennis practice day. I don't want to go. It's hot and sticky and there might be bugs. I want to go to a movie, but most of the people who would go with me will be at tennis practice. Maybe I'll just be really late.
11 June 2002, 2:27 peeyem
I think I'm going to buy a console table. If I do, this will be the second antique I've bought and modified to fit my evil purposes, but hell, it's only furniture, and it's only worth something to me if it does what I need it to do.
I need to make some changes to my pages, but I am covered up with things to do. I am moving a button to the right hand column here, because I've put up a photo that I took this morning.
10 June 2002, 2:52 peeyem
Mama has flown the coop.
I talked to her last night whilst painting the purple room, and the conversation turned to retirement homes and such. Not, mind you, that she's anywhere near ready for such a thing.
Anyway. She said that she's decided that when she's a little old lady, if she needs one, she wants to go to Magnolia Hall. I asked where it was, and she said there are several, and they're affiliated with the Methodists. I asked her if she was planning to tell them she's not Methodist.
She informed me that she has joined the Methodist Church.
I very nearly passed out. Instead, I blurted out, "joined the Methodists? what the hell were you thinking?! You don't even believe in the Methodists."
This, I will add, is the woman who once asked me if I believed in the Methodists (believe in 'em? Hell, I know some of them), who has been a Baptist her entire life, who comes from a long line of Baptists, whose granddaddy, in fact, was the first dancing Baptist in Laurens County, for the love of all that's holy.
At any rate, she responded that she certainly most does believe in the Methodists, and they only do things a little differently, like sprinkling instead of dunking.
I had to point out to her that I don't believe in infant baptism. She said it's not so bad, which I have a hard time getting my mind around, what with having been started out thinking that free will was the thing.
I remarked that I hoped she'd keep it from Uncle Lee, and she said she's pretty sure he knows. Naturally, I had to respond to this with, "Well, I hope you know you're killing your brother and me."
At some point in the conversation, she said it doesn't matter the denomination as long as the end result is the same, to which I responded that now that she's joined the heathens, the end result is most definitely not going to be the same, and that I suppose now she'll start having to sing hymns in a high church trained voice (she did say that no, that wouldn't be possible because she can't carry a tune regardless of the church).
I don't know why I feel like I have to yank her chain about this, but I cannot help myself.
I suspect she might have done this because she was starting to feel the guilt of my (Methodist) stepfather doubledipping to go to (Baptist) church with her when she wouldn't go to both with him.
10 June 2002, 11:02 ayem
From your mouth to God's ear, Karen. Click here.
Not really God's ear, you understand, but mine.
7 June 2002, 12:07 peeyem
I've got my truck...
Do you know what a Sunday Truck is? It's an El Camino, that vehicular wonder that is neither car nor truck. Where I come from, we (smirkingly) referred to it as a Sunday Truck because it was somehow prissier than an actual truck, thus if you could only afford one automobile, you'd get an El Camino because you could, without shame, drive it to weddings, funerals, and church.
Here's a song about El Caminos, from Cravin' Dogs:
We're
gonna have ourselves a party here
Lotsa cups, no people, and lots of beer
No one's gonna shed a tear
Lotsa cups no people and lots of beer
Long live the truck The truck must burn
My El Camino, my El Camino
I bought it when I sold my pinto
My El Camino, my El Camino
It's the best I've ever owned
Half a truck, half a car
With a little luck it will get you far
Half a car, half a truck
It will get you far with a little luck
My El Camino, my El Camino
I bought it when I sold my pinto
My El Camino, my El Camino
It's the best I've ever owned
We're gonna have ourselves a party here
Lotsa cups, no people, and lots of beer
Good cold beer (and hot doughnuts now)
I spotted the one here yesterday on the way to the World's Most Boring Seminar, held at, of all places, Galleria Center, where you would expect the clientele to be more glamorous, but no, many of the people in the other cars near us were coarse as cobs.
Also, it's time for this month's Idiot Picture, so here it is:
6 June 2002, 10:23 ayem
Sheesh. Some lady just called here from Augusta, Maine. She sounded like she was holding her nose while she was talking and kept asking me to repeat myself. Then she was offended that I had no idea what she was saying when she said, "reh-reh-reh-reh-reh," and then I needed her to spell it for me. For the record, what she was saying was Erwin W. Seywerd, M.D. Yeah, I would have guessed that in a million years.
6 June 2002, 9:19 ayem
Sweet Jesus, it was hot last night at tennis practice. After being out there for about 14 seconds, I realized I should have powdered more.
And there were bugs.
I hate being hot and itchy. When it's my time to go, I just hope that I don't have a rash and a fever.
All that said, there was a highlight to the evening. The inimitable Hershey Chocolate Company has released for a limited time only Special Dark Kisses. I adore Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate (even once ordering five pounds of it directly from the lady in Pennsylvania) and my good friend Brenda brought me a bag of them last night with specific instructions: These are for you and you alone. Ha. Like that was even in question.
5 June 2002, 2:49 peeyem
I had something earthshattering to pass along, but I forget what it was. Actually, it probably wasn't earthshattering, but it might have been mildly amusing (much like m'self...born to be mild).
Bill just found a candybar in the hallway of our suite. It looks like some solicitor might have left it, but who knows. Susan just ate half of it. I'll probably have to take her to the hospital any second now to get her stomach pumped or something.
Speaking of solicitors, the signs at all the entrances to this building are very clearly marked No Solicitors. I have no idea why we get all the illiterate solicitors, and I have even less idea why security doesn't stop them. There are not so many people working in this building that everyone who belongs here doesn't look familiar.
4 June 2002, 12:49 peeyem
My brother got bitten on the hand by a snake on Saturday. I asked my mother if it had just sneaked up on him and she said no, he knew it was there. I asked (reasonably, I thought) why he had his hand on it, and she said because he had to get it out of the house. I then asked (reasonably, I thought) why he didn't kill it with a hoe or something first, and she said because it was on the mantle.
I should perhaps back up and tell you that my mother lives near Albany, Georgia, and before that, she lived near Dublin, Georgia, and both places are rife with snakes. Jan despises snakes, and yet has had to deal with a number of them.
I asked her if he cussed when it happened and she said that he did not, in fact, cuss, but did turn quite pale and have trouble breathing. It seems that the snake, once he (she?) had found purchase, did not want to let go. Through some series of events that is not very clear to me, the snake's head was separated from its body, presumably by my stepfather, and the body was put in a 2-gallon ziplock bag, where it continued to writhe, according to my mother. She doesn't know what happened to the head, nor does she care.
I also asked if she had cussed or wet her pants or anything extraordinary and she said that she had not, but that it had wound itself around his arm and she was thinking that damn thing's going to kill my baby.
My niece and nephew were there for the weekend. I asked if they were afraid and she said they were hoopin' and hollerin' and carrying on, and she's not sure, but she thinks they might have been cheering for the snake.
Steven mostly was quiet about it all, except for the fact that it smelled really bad when it bit him.
Naturally, they took him to the emergency room, whereupon they were asked what kind of snake it was. Mama told them she didn't know, but that the hind end of it was in the car. They told her they needed to see it and she told them they could see it all they wanted to, but she wasn't going to go get it for them, wiggling around in the bag like it was. She ended up, if I've got the story right, going outside and standing on the curb while the nurse went out to the car and got it from under the driver's seat to identify it. Mercifully, it was a harmless bull snake.
Henceforth, I do not want any agita about my visit to the emergency room for the potential rabies.
3 June 2002, 4:09 peeyem
I want to see the Taj Mahal, but I don't want to have to go to India to do it. I just can't think of any place more miserable than in the desert near Agra, India. I suppose if they ever untarp it and there's a moment of world peace I'll have to suck it up and go over there.
I could go to Vegas, I suppose, and see it there. After all, food's cheap, liquor's free as long as you're at the slot machines, and you breathe well because they pump oxygen into the casinos. You can see the whole world without ever getting out your passport, not that that's any way to see the world.
3 June 2002, 12:39 peeyem
Finally painted the bedroom. Bought the paint back in January, and finally painted it. Leanne came over and we used my new Edgemasters (as seen on TV!!!). Edgemasters (as seen on TV!!!) rock my world. It's a bajillion times faster to cut in trim and corners with the delight of the Edgemaster (as seen on TV!!!). We finished all the painting in under 3 hours, and that includes taking breaks. The color is called cabbage flower; I tried to find a paint chip online to show you, but no cigar. Suffice it to say it's a very pale apple green. I hate cabbage with a passion normally reserved for a mint-condition 57 Chevy or the HVM, and had a momentary pause over painting the entire bedroom in it, but managed to rationalize my way around it.
Now I need to paint the room adjacent. It's going to be painted a sort of mulberry purple (maestro), and yes, I'm quite sure about this.
In other exciting news, I have come down with kittens. I came home the other day and they were on the steps. I've been sitting outside with bowl of milk-soaked bread, trying to coax them up on the porch while I'm there. I think they're a Siamese mix, because they have that pretty taupe coloring and dark ears and blue eyes, but their heads aren't shaped Siamese-y. Their names are Bill and Ted. I suppose if I find out they're girls I'll change their names to Tammy and Loretta or Rhoda and Mary or something. If I can get my grimy paws on them, I'm going to love them and squeeze them and take them for shots. They are cute as all.
Where's May?
I'm still reading April
I wasn't done with March!
Hey! What happened to February? It's Right Here.
