You got to learn to live with what you can't rise above. Bruce Springsteen

28 May 2003, 1:29 peeyem

When last we spoke, I mentioned that I would be spending some quality time with a neurologist on the 23rd.

At the neurologist's, I was asked about a billion questions (if I've told you once, I've told you a million times to stop exaggerating!). Then my pupils were dilated and a slit lamp test was administered. If you've never had a slit lamp test, I will tell you that they shine a light that is so bright that it's like looking into the face of God in your dilated pupils. There is some swelling of the papillae (papilledema). Then I had a field vision test, which I am pleased to report I passed with flying colors.

I called Katie from the parking deck when I was done. She asked if I needed a ride and I (foolishly) said no. Once I got out on the road in the sunlight (no sun for weeks, and wouldn't you know it would be shining on the day I had my pupils dilated), I realized that I could not, in fact, see a thing. Nonetheless, I took myself off to my MRI.

Had I known that the MRI would require that I parade around without a brassiere on, I might have chosen differently, at least about my clothing selection that morning.

The MRI was everything that you've heard it is. It's loud. It's in a cold room. You have to lie completely still with your head in a tube about the size of a coffee can. I wasn't overly upset about the coffee can, due to the cloth over my face, and the fact that it was a major project to keep my arms still while not stabbing myself with the IV needle.

After it was over, I took the film back to the doctor's office, where she pronounced, "It is not a toomuh."

I didn't suspect it was a tumor, you understand, but it's always nice to hear it from someone who knows S.A.S.

The next step is a spinal tap, which I'm having done on the 6th. If the results of that are as she suspects, I'm a pill or twelve away from being headache-free.

I expect that there won't be any complications and that it will be an easy answer with an easy fix.

In an unrelated note, did you know that you can get I Heart Jesus air fresheners for the car? And no, I don't know what they smell like.

22 May 2003, 12:48 peeyem

I swam to work today.

21 May 2003, 10:44 ayem

James Brown feels good!

This from the (venerable) Atlanta Journal & Constitution: Associated Press COLUMBIA, S.C. -- Singer James Brown was granted a pardon Tuesday for his past crimes in South Carolina. The 70-year-old "Godfather of Soul," whose record includes assault, drug and weapons charges dating back to 1988, sang "God Bless America" after the decision from the state's seven-member board of pardons and paroles. "God bless America on this beautiful day. I hope my pardon shows the youth that America is a beautiful country," Brown, of Augusta, Ga., said in a statement. The pardon means Brown is fully forgiven from all the legal consequences of his crimes and his convictions. Agency spokesman Pete O'Boyle said Brown had friends, family and state lawmakers speak on his behalf. Rep. Ken Kennedy, D-Greeleyville, said the pardon will allow Brown to share his experiences and help others. "This is something that he deserves," Kennedy said. "He has been one of our great entertainers in this country. He's done so much for the country and for me as a young person growing up here." In the spring of 1988, Brown was arrested after beating up his third wife, Adrienne. That September, Brown, high on PCP and carrying a shotgun, entered an insurance seminar next to his Augusta, Ga., office. Police said he asked seminar participants if they were using his private restroom. Police chased Brown for a half-hour from Augusta into South Carolina and back to Georgia. The chase ended when police shot out the tires of his truck. Brown received a six-year prison sentence after he was convicted on charges of assault, failure to stop for a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest, carrying a pistol and drug possession. He spent 15 months in a prison and 10 months in a work-release program before being paroled in 1991. In 1998, police found marijuana and guns at Brown's home when sheriff's deputies took him into custody on a probate judge's order as a "mental transport." Brown spent a week in a private Columbia hospital, recovering from what his agent said was dependency on painkillers the singer took after hurting his back during a show. He was convicted of use of a weapon while under the influence, but completed a 90-day drug program, O'Boyle said. Brown unsuccessfully tried to get a pardon for his crimes in 2001. O'Boyle said the board hears about 200 or 300 pardon cases annually and about 60 percent to 65 percent of those pardons are granted.

Mrs. Brown, you might recall, pled diplomatic immunity on traffic charges in 1987, based on the fact that US Representative Douglas Barnard enthusiastically stated on James Brown Appreciation Day in 1986 that "James is indeed our No. 1 ambassador." Her attorney was Allen W. Johnson. The motion was withdrawn the next day.

20 May 2003, 4:35 peeyem

Yesterday's excitement involved the delight of visiting not one, but two, eye care professionals. My contacts have been sliding up and down every time I blink. I have ordered replacement lenses, I have changed solutions, I have stopped using my undereye cream (which I desperately need), and still no relief.

The first professional, my very excellent contact lady, turned my eyelids inside out, and then proclaimed, "ah, just as I suspected! GPC!"

For those following along at home, GPC stands for Gigantic Papillary Conjunctivitis. And if you think it sounds bad, you should see pictures of it. Of course, the inside of flesh doesn't do anything to stimulate the appetite anyway.

So I asked Pat if it would go away and she said, "No, un-uh." I must have shrieked or something because she very quickly amended, "No, un-uh" to "It will, but you need drops from the doctor."

The doctor then also turned my eyelids inside out. He proclaimed, "Ick!" Then someone else came in and put some yellow liquid in my eyes that made my eyeballs and eyelids NUMB. They were measuring my intra-ocular pressure for a baseline because the drops might increase that pressure, of all things.

The eyedrops are sort of milky looking and they sting like a sumbitch and leave bright white deposits that look like liquid paper in the corners of my eyes, so I have to be very diligent about checking in the mirror.

The headache continues apace, but I'm still going to the neurologist on Friday. And next Friday I close on my refinance of the house.

15 May 2003, 3:55 peeyem

So. Another apartment on Peachtree burned. It was the second third of the trio that stands on the corner of Peachtree and Collier. It was a huge, huge fire and one side of the building just fell right off. There seems to be some suspicion that it might have been arson, but I cannot imagine someone intentionally trying to burn down a building on a day when there's so much water in the air. Anyway. They're still hosing it down with great arcs of water from hundreds of feet away, and there are still firemen at the top of the ladder engine looking down into it.

I had a brilliant observation last night, but now I can't remember what the hell it was.

14 May 2003, 5:45 peeyem

I have a headache. I think it's my sinuses today, due to the low barometric pressure, but who knows?

At any rate, I have an appointment with a neurologist next week. I had an MRI about 2 years ago for my sinues, which I'm to take with me, but I expect I'll have to have my head examined again.

All I really know is that I hate having a headache.

I wonder if it's eyestrain, trying to deal with my contacts slipping up and down. The contact lady says it sounds to her like I have grown allergic to my solutions and that I should switch. Which I did yesterday, at considerable expense.

There was a woman at the store who had a 4-or- so-year-old with her, and a child of perhaps 2 in the cart. The child in the cart was just miserable, wailing, screaming, bawling, rubbing her eyes. The mother kept saying, "you are making mommy angry." Why she didn't just take the child home is beyond me, because I cannot imagine many things more cruel to a child than to confine her in a shopping cart at 7 or so in the evening, so close to dinner and bedtime. I kinda think she had it coming, dragging the kid out at that hour. Of course, I don't have children, so it's really not my place to say.

Today my opinion that I cannot respect a man who is incapable of driving a stick shift was reinforced.

13 May 2003, 3:37 peeyem

Idge. I stopped at the store after the gym yesterday (no adventures, praise be) to get some breakfast food. Naturally, I didn't open the milk until this morning, and when I poured myself a big ol' glass of it, it was thin and looked like cloudy water. So I started my day without my glass of chocolate milk. By the time I got to the office I was cranky and jittery and out of whack. I think I fixed it, but it took a Coke (nectar of the gods, all of them) and a Twix by that point.

And here's a question for you: how do you figure out if someone says they want to resume friendship whether they want to resume friendship, or they actually just want you not to think poorly of them? Because, you know, generally speaking, I don't have to have an active friendship to not have think poorly of someone.

12 May 2003, 12:32 peeyem

Here we go again with the rudeness. Why does anyone think the person they are speaking with wants to help them if they're being rude and challenging? Some man just called here and kept on and on and on repeating himself, asking when did the price go up and what have you. Finally I just said, "I've cancelled your subscription. Your subscription will be forthcoming."

I had a good weekend. Friday night I had drinks and dinner with some new people who I liked very much. Saturday Anna and I went to Lakewood, where I bought a table to put the machine on (as opposed to a sewing machine table), and then to another place, and to early dinner. I was so beat from being out until 3 in the morning that I was in bed by 9:15 on Saturday night. Yesterday was brunch with Martin, a long nap, and then dinner with Katie. I'm done with housesitting and am anxious to be heading home after work.

It's a beautiful day in Atlanta, and I imagine I might ought to do some work.

8 May 2003, 4:15 peeyem

Well, Charlie and Marcy got married and left to go somewhere. It was a lovely day. Blake and Britt and Makayla were there. Had I been thinking fast, I would have brought the boys back with me and then met them with their parents on Sunday.

I have had, intermittently, the worst headache of my young life since Saturday. Monday it was so horrific that I stayed home and lay on the sofa in the blear, waiting for it to pass. I didn't even shower and get dressed, and that's not like me. I always shower and get dressed, on account of you just never know. Tuesday I came in to work, but yesterday I was here for all of two hours before I had to go back home and crawl back in.

Today I am so hopped up on decongestants, Excedrin, and Dr. Pepper that my skin is crawling and I can't stand anything touching my legs. Also, my heart is beating like a hummingbird wanting to be let out of my ribcage.

We've had a lot of weather of late, and if you've been following along at all, you are aware that I do not like weather of any sort. I am ready for balmy and mild.

The house appraiser is coming tomorrow. I have no idea what he's going to be looking for, but I am to be prepared for all of it.

2 May 2003, 1:30 peeyem

Adventures in Exercising

My trainer person at the gym, Aaron, assigned me a number of things to do. One of them is walking on the treadmill.

My particular gym is set up in such a way that I don't necessarily have to see Aaron for him to know what I'm doing or to give me feedback, because it's all computerized. I put my ID number in each piece of equipment and it magically records it. The machines even count for you and tell you to slow down and if you don't reach the full range of motion, it won't count that rep.

To start the treadmill, you have to press enter and then put in your ID number. I was standing on the belt (where I had very specifically been told not to stand), fiddling with my earphone things, and reached up and pressed enter. I was doing all this at one time because, you know, it starts slowly.

Or at least it starts slowly if the machine has not been paused instead of stopped by the person before you. So anyway, I pressed enter, and it immediately inclined to something like 4 whatevers and started running at 10.2 whatevers.

Now, I am a pretty good little sprinter, being as I spend a lot of time running to and fro on a tennis court, but that's a flat surface, and it's certainly not a surprise when I do it.

My earpieces went flying upward and my legs were churning and I was feeling a bit panicked as I envisioned myself being launched through the window behind me. Idiotically, I did not grab the emergency stop cord, but rather snatched my earpieces out of the air and kept churning until I had the presence of mind to straddlehop onto the rails.

It's a small mercy that everyone in the area was already wearing headsets and missed the whole thing. Things like this are why my answer to the question "What was your most embarassing moment?" is every moment has the potential to be my most embarassing.

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