31 December 2003, 10:30 ayem
Time keeps on slipping
Into the future
Time keeps on slipping,
slipping, slipping
Into the future
When I was a child, I thought everything took forever, that I had all the time in the world.
And now that I am grown, I see that the grown-ups were right. You have the rest of your life to be grown up. I wish that I had known then what I know now.
I don't think I've yet reached the point where I have more behind me than I do ahead of me, but I do note the more rapid passing of time.
I see it in the growing up of the precious children around, and most especially in Riley, who got a new little sister this past August. I rushed right to the hospital to see her and her mama and daddy, and Riley was leaving with his aunt and uncle. He was talking and singing and running ahead, and I remembered that just a few short years ago, he was that tiny little bundle I was holding in the hospital. Riley knows three-syllable words now, and says things like "I don't know syllable," that crack me up. He also does funny things like shriek at bugs and make faces and stop to look at things on the ground that the rest of us can't see. And he calls the fan in the bathroom the commode.
The little George kids aren't so little anymore, but I don't care. I love them anyway, and try to make it my business to spend time with them when their busy schedules permit. Andrew George picked me to be his special person on Grandparents & Special Person Day, and while I have won awards and scholarships (and even a fluke trophy) and certificates, all of that pales in comparison to a 10-year-old you've known all his life picking you to come for the picture.
I lost, it seems, one of my dearest friends and his family, but what are you gonna do? If people don't want to come to the ballpark, you can't stop them. It has been my observation over the years that friends and lovers come and go and come again, and about the best I can do is put it behind me until they do come back. And if they don't, then the next best thing is to wish them well and send up a little prayer for them now and again.
I also ended a relationship last year, and it was past due to end, no matter how much comfort and occasional glee it brought the both of us. I snicker when I go in a gas station bathroom and see where someone has written on the wall No matter how hot he is, some woman, somewhere, is sick of his shit. That said, I hope he finds whatever it is he's looking for and that it brings him great happiness. It sucks when it's just not enough, but there it is.
I also lost one of my two remaining grandparents (I never knew the fourth, except through legend, and my grandmother died back in 1989) this year, and that has changed the family dynamic in ways I can't (or won't) won't explain.
I have had most inches of me poked and prodded this year, and I am completely healthy. I had so many procedures during which the insides of my body and head were looked at through X-ray or magnetic wave or ultrasound that I put my foot down and refused to let the dentist take X-rays of my teeth (that sounds crazy, but it's because I am). I don't have cancer and I don't have a brain tumor and a headache is a rare occasion for me, worthy of calling people about. I have been fortunate to be surrounded by people who were thinking good thoughts and bringing me things and getting me to and from places when I couldn't do it myself.
I have also made many new friends this year, and they are, all of them, little chunks of extra light in the firmament of my old friends.
I saw my country enter a war that finally made me understand what they meant by the term immoral war. I listened to the reports of how many American soldiers were dying, even after it was "over," and I mourn the loss of innocence for my particular generation, because while many of us were born during Vietnam, we never really understood it.
It's policy I have a problem with, not those who carry it out.
I worry almost as much as I should about erosion of personal freedom, and I'm still driven crazy by the idea of putting the Ten Commandments in the public buildings.
Many of my friends and relatives suffered personal losses and many more (and sometimes they overlapped) made great strides in the world. No matter which end of the spectrum they're on, though, those I count as my own are the best people in the world.
Finally, the house is on the market. I need a dining room and I need a darkroom of my own, because I have decided to pursue my great love of photography.
Maybe I'll see you at the other end of my lens in the coming year. I sure hope so. Peace to you and the ones you love.
Love,
me
29 December 2003, 3:40 peeyem
It was, simply, The Best Christmas Ever.
23 December 2003, 2:35 peeyem
Tidings of comfort and joy...
The shopping, mostly, is done. The wrapping is not done, not even a little bit of it. But the cards are out and everybody who's coming has directions and I know what I'm supposed to make. Mama's even bringing my grandmother's dining room furniture, for which I have no dining room. I do, however, have a second bedroom for which there is no longer a bed, as Trace and I put the mattress and box springs out at the curb on Sunday morning after breakfast; now I just have to snooker Mama and Bill into taking the frame and nightstand with them to store it until the house sells and I buy another one.
And speaking of the house selling, I got an offer on mine. For tens of thousands of dollars less than I need to net, since the potential buyer wanted me to make her down payment and what have you, so I countered once and she countered again ridiculously, and I thanked them for their time and wished them merry Kwanhanumas. I was having guilt pangs about this until I snapped myself back to reality by calling Chris George who, upon hearing the offered, sternly said NO. I think I might have given him palpitations at the idea of me donating the house and not having enough left over to buy another one.
In other exciting news, Trace has gotten a job in Birmingham, Alabama and she'll be moving the weekend of January 9th. We went to Birmingham last Saturday and were able to determine that no matter what you do, you don't want to live on a numbered street in Birmingham. I'm sure going to miss her, but it's only two hours.
The other weekend excitement was going to the bra fitter. I didn't even know that there was such a job, but there is. And everybody should get it done once, because I'm here to tell you, it's quite the little adventure in being handled. Those women can look at you and know your bra is the wrong size (boy howdy was mine wrong!), and the next thing you know, they're eyeballing the situation and sizing you up and bringing you the right size without even a tape measure.
And, in other customer service news, here's my conversation with J.Jill regarding an order received and returned. As I was trying to tell Henry's son Cody, once you lose all sense of self dignity, it's easier to get along in this world.
Dear Customer Service:
Several
weeks ago, I ordered a pair of red corduroy pants from your
company. I returned them a few days later for whatever reason.
That was over two weeks ago.
I would like my refund of $84 and some change, and I would like it immediately.
You were able to suck the money out of my account
instantaneously, and you should be able to put it back just as quickly.
I cannot imagine that you have not yet received my package.
Also, I paid for the shipping back to you, so I do not expect to be
charged for that.
I do not have the order number before me, but my billing address is:
Susan Scarbrough
3551 XXXX CCCCC
XXXXX, GA XXXXX
I am sorely disappointed by your delinquence in this matter; after all,
I don't get to hang onto the clothes without paying for them.
Please rectify this situation right away.
Yours,
Susan Scarbrough
Dear Ms.
Scarbrough,
Thank you for shopping J.Jill.
We have received the merchandise you returned to us. We are sorry to hear
that you were disappointed with your selections.
As you requested, your credit card account has been credited for the item
listed below. Due to the variance in credit card billing cycles please
allow up to 2 billing cycles for the credit to appear on your statement.
Order #: 19447080
Item #/Description:
WZ093BW RUBY RED
WNS WEEKENDER CORDS
Amount Credited to VISA: $73.83
Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience you may have been caused.
We look forward to servicing your needs in the future. If you have any
questions or concerns please feel free to contact us via email at mailto:customerservice@jjill.com
or call 1-800-343-5700, Monday through Saturday, 8:00 am to 10:00 pm EST.
Sincerely,
Tara
J.Jill Customer Service
Dear Tara:
Why are you refunding me $73.83? Are you charging me for shipping back
to you? Or for taxes? Good grief.
Two billing cycles is not acceptable. It took you approximately 17 hours
to get the money out of my account to start with.
Feel free to pass this up the line to whomever's next.
Thank you for your assistance.
Susan Scarbrough
Like I say, it's not easy being me.
But anyway, I'm happy and healthy and moving right along with things, and I hope you are too, and I hope that you will enjoy the holidays and find some peace for yourself.
10 December 2003, 11:23 ayem
The next time I have legitimate reason to think someone's making a stupid life decision, I am going to put my foot down and meddle and damn the consequences. It's wearing me out just watching, and I'm watching from afar.
The holidays are in full swing now, and I'm about a quarter of the way there. I think next week I'll just have to steel myself to go and finish the shopping. I need to make lists of meals, because Mama and them are coming Christmas Day and Daddy and them are coming the Saturday after. I'm so excited that I can't stand it. Got no idea where I'll put them all, but I don't care. I'm happy they're coming, because it changes Christmas for me. I'll hang them on hooks if I have to.
It's gray and wet here in Atlanta today. Must have been one hell of a storm I slept through last night because there are leaves and sticks and smallish branches all over the place, and about half the lights on Hosea Williams (Hosey'll get you out!) were out this morning on the way in.
I'm wearing my contacts today, to see if my GPC has cleared up. I had it once before and it took 2 years. Fortunately glasses today are a bit more fashion forward than they were in 1986. Those glasses were tortoise colored (sort of) and they were very large, VeryVeryLarge. And thick. I was a joy to behold.
4 December 2003, 5:33 peeyem
I just overwrote something. I have no idea what it is. It's been that kind of week and a few days.
I spent the weekend vaguely ill, fevery, headachy. Yesterday I got up and looked out and thought, "Not today." So I stayed home on the sofa, in my nightgown, and watched daytime television, periodically breaking to gauge if I was feeling better.
I might could have stayed there until bedtime, except I noted that a fire truck and a Dekalb Fire & Rescue ambulance truck thing were next door at Miz Garver's house. I emailed Leanne, who asked me to run over there and check on her for her. I dragged on the clothes I had worn the day before and went over. I still don't know what was wrong with her. Miz Garver, you see, is addled and confused. She told me that her blood pressure was too high or too low and her pulse was too fast or too slow, and her therapist had noticed it and called the 911 for her. I'm not sure she understood that there's an important distinction between too high and too low and too fast and too slow when it comes to treatment, but I didn't ask many questions, I just stood there and looked vaguely informative.
Some of her relatives who live on the street came over. One of them was a niece or some such and she was quite nervous, wasn't sure what to do. Miz Garver's sister came over and called whomever needed to be called and somehow ended up with her pocketbook and housekeys. The niece (?) kept telling her she oughtn't take her pocketbook to the hospital with her, but I would no more go without my pocketbook than I would without my brassiere.
Miz Garver got outside under her own steam, flanked by the five (!) paramedics and began issuing orders. It was a big deal, and it was the most animated I had ever seen her, except that time when she had an unwanted tenant. Turn on these lights. Leave those ones off. Get my jacket. Make sure to call thus and such. Take my pocketbook to your house. Don't lose my keys.
Once I saw that she was all strapped down or however they keep you on the gurney, I went about my business and got myself together to go deal with my multiple cars. It was a harsh realization that that was probably the most attention she'd gotten in a while.
I remembered something I should have been thankful for before: that all the old people in my life are so very well visited and fussed over, and they are still sharp and they get up and get themselves together every morning and go about their days like they always have, albeit perhaps a little slower.
And I don't ever want to live in a dark house because I don't want to die in one.
Living
in the
Past?
2003
2002
